I think the day is here… I’m in the early stages of miscarriage. Very light bleeding and mild cramps starting. Light bleeding and cramps during pregnancy does NOT mean you are miscarrying! Please don’t misunderstand. But in my case, since we didn’t see a heart beat when we think we should have, I have been expecting this to happen.
Moment of hope
I had a total moment of hope! My dr called 2 weeks after my last ultrasound and since nothing was happening, asked me to come in for a blood test to see what my pregnancy hormones were doing.
That was a Friday, so of course I had to wait until Monday. Today is Wednesday, May 9th. Just 2 days ago, May 7th, the nurse called and said my numbers had actually gone up! So they wanted me to come in for a follow up ultrasound. WOW.
Due to baby sitter scheduling, I made an appointment for tomorrow, Thursday the 10th. But it doesn’t look like I’ll make it until then.
I will never know when my baby stopped growing. The levels only went up about 9000 points in 2 weeks. But based on the idea that it should double every 2-3 days, that number should have been even higher. I think it’s just taken awhile.
I’m really disappointed though! All the things I did after I heard I was miscarrying! I drank a lot of wine that night, and then more over the course of the 2 weeks since that ultrasound! I went back to 2 cups of regular full caffeine coffee! And I stopped taking the progesterone!
I have to get it out of my head, but also off my chest, that this could have gone differently if my doctor took blood along with my last ultrasound. She could have said to follow up in 1 week. *Definitely finding a different doctor next time around!
My take away
Listen to your gut! I could have kept taking the progesterone. I could have continued on the right path until the miscarriage actually happened. I can’t beat myself up over this. Just needed to get it off my chest.
Now I will be able to actually “try” and I’m very excited about that! I’ve already started my list of TTC (trying to conceive) aides! I’ll fix up the list and share it soon. I’ve got 4 or 5 things I was doing before, and another 3 or 4 things to add to the list.
I’m excited about continuing down my good health journey! I’m scared about the pain I will endure tonight, but excited for the next step. I have been blessed with an optimistic attitude. When we were trying, before fertility treatments, every time I got my period, I was never upset for long. I just immediately looked forward to the next opportunity!
The Silver Lining today
Earlier today I decided to post in a crunchy mom’s group I’m in to get ideas of what I can do with my frozen breast milk that is “expired”. I am so excited that I found someone who makes the most beautiful jewelry with it! I actually cried a little when I saw the response! Probably the hormones talking, but I’m so excited to get a keepsake! God willing – it won’t be my last breast milk. But just in case it is, I will cherish it forever!