Are morning routines a thing? I mean, sure they are! But I need help! LOL
My daughter just started preschool yesterday. We’re on day two and I’m going crazy! I spent an hour and a half trying to get her up, dressed, and off to school! An hour and a half!! That’s an hour and a half out of my work time!
What is wrong with me?? Is it normal to be sooooo completely frustrated by this? My guess is that it is normal, but I would love to hear how you all cope.
Damn that Daniel Tiger!
We stopped watching him on TV because I didn’t like they way he is taught to cope with things (stomp 3 times, to make yourself feel better) it would be fine if she felt better after 3 stomps, but I don’t see it!
So she found DT on her tablet and has been watching things about potty training which she recently did, and now about her off to school and bedtime routines. I thought, she’s singing along, maybe it’s ok now. But all morning long it’s the song about getting ready for school. And she HAS to do it in order. This frustrates the crap out of me!
What Not to do
On the less than 5 minute ride to school, while I looked at my watch and thought about what time I started trying to wake her, that’s when it really hit me about how much time I just spent trying to get her ready to go to school, where she’ll be for only 2 hours! Ahhhh!!
So what did I do? I spoke sternly to her. I’m so ashamed. I didn’t yell, thankful for that. But I told her, “when I say it’s time to get up, you get up. When I say get dressed, get dressed. When I say brush your teeth, brush your teeth. When I say eat breakfast, eat breakfast. And when I say put your shoes on, you put your shoes on!” Does that kind of talking to a 4-year-old do anything? Most likely not. Except it probably further instills how much more she likes daddy.
Uggggg, Lord, please help me speak to my daughter in a way that will be receptive and understood and make her feel loved!
So when we got to school, I stopped her just outside. I squatted to her level and told her that even though it took her so long to get ready, I still love her more than anything. She lowered her head and said, “ok mommy”, but it sounded as though she had been rejected. This just breaks my heart. I gave her a big hug, and that was it, she was excited to go inside.
What Not to Say
I read so many different things about what to say and what not to say to gain trust and make well-adjusted little people. It’s so hard! Here’s what really sticks in my head:
- Don’t follow up a compliment with a ‘but’. Just let it stand on its own. If you want to suggest something different for next time, do it later. Let the compliment stand on its own.
- Don’t apologize with a qualifier. This is an off-shoot of the point above. It comes to mind when I think of what I said outside her school this morning. I didn’t get this one right. I shouldn’t have said ‘even though’. I’m working on this one!
- Don’t say ‘don’t cry’. Instead, say something like, I know that hurts, or I understand you’re upset. Give them time to get their feelings out. Saying ‘I understand you’re upset’ helps them to feel heard. (God knows we all just want to be heard!)
- Don’t whine. Ohhh I say this one a lot! When I’m cool and collected, I replace that with, “is there another way you can say that?” And I definitely respond quickly when she re-poses her question without the whiny voice! I need to acknowledge her efforts!
She’s at the age where everything is a battle of wills! Everything is a big deal. Lots of whining, and lots of crying. It’s really been a huge test for me. I think the biggest thing I need to work on is being more flexible.
I have to remember that I’m working from home so that I can be the one here while she gets ready in the morning, and I’m the one taking her to school and after school activities.
And see, just saying that brings things back into perspective. I guess I need to get up an hour earlier to get more work in before she needs to get up. We can do this!
What do you do?
I would love to hear what you’ve implemented to make your morning routine run smoothly! How do you keep yourself in check when your kiddos test your patience? Comment after the post or send me an email!