Ava Detects 5 Fertile Days

Work at Home Mom blog

Babymaking, Parenting, & Working at Home

Test results

No Heartbeat

I’m sorry to report that we did not hear a heartbeat on Friday. I’m devastated, yet I’m OK. I still can’t get over how exciting it was to have this surprise and I will be forever grateful for the experience.

Since we did fertility before, we missed out on a lot of the excitement when you first find out you’re pregnant. I’m sure it’s that excitement and surprise that will get me through this loss.

The Ultrasound

In the ultrasound, we saw an embryo. It was larger than it was 2 weeks earlier, so I thought there was a chance we just needed to focus in to see the heartbeat. But it just didn’t happen.

My baby grew only about 4 days since the previous ultrasound which was 2 weeks earlier. So you could concur that it stopped growing shortly after the first ultrasound.

She said it measured 6 weeks 1 day. The doctor said that technically, we don’t necessarily need to see a heartbeat at 6w1, but it should have grown more in 2 weeks. Based on my LMP (last menstrual period) I should be 8 weeks 6 days.

So it’s not that far off, but just not feasible. I firmly believe that because of my age, she is automatically assuming a loss. I wonder if I was 10 years younger if she would say to wait and see. My doctor is clearly not an optimist! But I’m OK with that. She’s a realist and doesn’t want me to get my hopes up.

What’s Next

Basically I am waiting for my baby to miscarry. I don’t know what has to happen, or how long it will take.

My doctor gave me 3 options.

  1. Wait it out and let it happen naturally.
  2. Take medicine, at home, to induce contractions.
  3. Schedule a D&C to have it surgically removed.

She said the safest is to do it naturally. I left her office with the medicine thinking I would prepare to do it at home over the weekend when my husband is home. I miscarried a blighted ovum about 10 years ago and the pain was off the charts. I ended up in the ER.

I got a script for a pain reliever so I can take that when it happens. I’m definitely scared about the pain. Based on my experience before, I think I have several hours once I feel it starting before the real pain begins. So I should have time to get the pain meds and get my husband home from work. Or have a friend come over to watch the kids. *Still nervous!

Which Method I Chose

Like I said, I left the office with the meds to induce the miscarriage. But I read a bunch of stories Friday night and I ultimately decided I will wait for it to happen naturally. I felt that God wanted me to be pregnant, and God will take it away. I have to let it go and let it be in His hands.

The stories I read were Amazing! Basically 3 different stories about women who didn’t see a heartbeat, were told they were losing the baby, and went home to wait for the miscarriage. Ultimately they ended up having babies!

I promise I’m not delusional! But I’m just going to wait. I don’t need to ever wonder if I killed my baby.

What the Future Will Bring

In case you didn’t previously read, or I didn’t make it clear, my husband did NOT plan for this! He thought (we both thought) that it wasn’t possible, so while he was making me happy that we were “trying”, we never thought it would happen.

So he’s been more of a realist for the last month. “How are we going to pay for this?” While our 2 kids are crying, “and you want another one?” It went on and on.

Even after we got the bad news, we’ve been talking about it. “You’re going to be 60 when they graduate from high school. Do you really want that?”

Yes, yes I do. I LOVED being pregnant! And who doesn’t love a little baby? Well the good news is, I think we’re going to try now!

Trying now is different than trying before. Now that I know it’s possible, it will definitely be different. But I’m kind of excited about getting healthier, so my  body is willing and able to conceive and carry a baby. And if it doesn’t happen, it’s OK! I will be healthier for trying. And just like it did for the past year, it will make me happy “trying.”

I’m getting things in place for after the miscarriage. There were a few things I was doing to “help”, so I will add those back to my routine, plus add a few more things. I guess that’s what I will write about next!

I appreciate you reading and any prayers or positive vibes you’re sending my way!

♥

Still Pregnant!

I’m still pregnant! This isn’t over yet!

Today I went in for a follow up hCG test and ultrasound. When I got there, the Dr. said my progesterone is very high, and I reminded her that I’m supplementing. She said, “no, this is higher than that.”

She proceeded with the ultrasound. I felt like it was taking forever to see anything! Since I did IVF with both of my children, I’m experienced in having and viewing these ultrasounds. It seems that regular OBGYN offices don’t have the nice equipment that the fertility clinics have.

Through all of that grain, the black and white fuzz, she said, there it is. “I actually see two sacks.” WHAT??

They are similar in size, and consistent with the timing. She explained that when you have 2 fertilized eggs attach, the whole process slows down. Having said that, it would be too early to see a heartbeat at this time. The followup hCG test they did today will tell us more. I’ll get those results tomorrow.

“There’s a strong fetal pole.” I love this article about the gestational sac and fetal development.

So for today, I can rest easy and enjoy being pregnant for at least 1 more day!

Shared with my Parents

Speaking of enjoying being pregnant, I decided to tell my parents today. I wanted to give them a chance to enjoy it too, even if it was only for 1 hour until I got out of my doctor appointment.

I didn’t know how to tell them. I’ve actually been thinking about that for 2 weeks! Here’s how I said it: “I have some interesting and exciting news!” I made sure both my mom and stepdad were there listening. “I’m six and a half weeks pregnant!” Silence.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from them. I’m old, they’re older! I really wasn’t sure what to expect. I finally heard my mom’s voice crack, “you are?” It was a sound of joy. And a little chuckle from my stepdad. It was nice to hear their response.

Unfortunately, I was breaking down because I was literally in the car on my way to the doctor, where I thought for sure I was going to hear bad news.

My husband didn’t want me to tell them yet. I wanted to share the news earlier than you’re supposed to, because I want prayers. And if something happens, I want their support for that too. He looks at it as making all those people feel sad. Just a different perspective.

I’m so glad that I thought of telling them before my appointment! They are so thrilled, and of course in shock, but good shock!

One more day to enjoy being pregnant!

♥

If you want to keep following my story, go to Contact and give me your details. I’ll keep you in the loop when I post. Thanks for your prayers!

Is it Viable

I might have some bad news in a couple days. I’m preparing for that. I got my hCG results, and while they are elevated, they are on the low side. So the question is: Is it viable?

I heard from the office that my levels are just a little over 1800. Yesterday, the doctor said it’s too hard to just judge by the first number. “It could be 5,000, or it could be 15,000.” So they do a second test 2 days later so they can see the change. The number should double in 2 days. (Nice article about that here.)

So anyway, after I hear the number 1,800, I broke down. (I have in my mind from yesterday, 5,000-15,000.) It’s awful to be consoled by your almost 4 year old. Actually, it’s not. It’s nice to know she’s growing up to be a sympathetic little person. Two and 4-yo hugs are the best! Of course I feel bad that they see me cry like that. But I just tell them it’s ok, mommy’s just sad.

Now I’m in Google search mode! Should my numbers be the same for this pregnancy as my last? According to this article, no, they won’t necessarily be the same between pregnancies. I actually have my hCG levels from my last pregnancy since we did fertility. I believe numbers are much lower for this one.

But I may have found some good news, at least to get me through until Friday. According to this chart on the Huggies website, I AM within range for 6 weeks! I’m disappointed to be on the bottom end of the range, but I’m in range, and I’ll take it.

My doctor will keep an eye on this. A low reading could mean a loss (miscarriage). It could also indicate an ectopic pregnancy. They will keep testing the level until it is under 5. When I had the ectopic pregnancy, they found it because my hCG levels weren’t high enough for a normal pregnancy, yet they weren’t really dropping. After doing an ultrasound, we found a little heartbeat but it wasn’t in my uterus. So that’s one thing that is a concern.

Of course, at my age, the biggest concern is simply miscarriage. And it could happen for any number of reasons.

What a roller coaster of emotions!