Ava Detects 5 Fertile Days

Work at Home Mom blog

Babymaking, Parenting, & Working at Home

parenting

WAHM – how to be one

I’m a work at home mom (WAHM). Not to be confused with a stay at home mom (SAHM). It’s not easy, but it’s perfect for our young and growing family. I’m going to share my calendar and show you how it can be done!

Our family

First, who we are. We’re a family of 4, expecting to be a family of 5 in September. Our oldest just turned 5 and will start Kindergarten in the fall. Our youngest just turned 3, so he’s got a couple more years of preshcool. My husband is a machinist and is currently driving 55 miles one way to do a 10-hour shift. That’s right, he’s gone about 13 hours a day. And I work from home, care for the kids, the house, and when I have time, myself. 😁

About me

I have a bachelor’s degree in Industrial Technology and a Master’s Degree in Business. Not to say that a degree is needed to be a WAHM! But my point is that educated people are deciding more and more to stay home. Being a virtual assistant makes me feel like I’m still using some of the skills I learned when I was in the workforce.

Most of what I do I learned in online courses. My favorite was the 30 Days or Less to VA Success by Gina Horkey. That’s the one that really got me started on this awesome journey! And actually, a lot of what I “learned”, I already knew. The courses just help you see the skills you already have and how they can be used as a virtual assistant. The 30 DOL course also helps you set up your business.

If you’re not sure what you have to offer as a VA, check out this list (also from Horkey Handbook). It’s a list of 150+ VA Services that you could offer. I would put money on it that you know how to do something on this list!

What my days are like

Like I mentioned above, I’m pregnant now. This is what my days looked like BEFORE pregnancy:

  • 5:30AM. I would get up shortly after my husband leaves for work at 4:45 AM. I’m not a jump-out-of-bed person so I would look at my phone for a bit to help wake up. This includes looking at my calendar!
  • 6:00AM. Turn on the computer and get started. I now have 1-1/2 to 2 hours before the kids wake up.
  • 8:00AM. Set the kids up with breakfast and make breakfast for myself. (I actually schedule in mealtime!)
  • 8:30AM. Get back to work for 2 hours.
  • 10:30AM. Make sure our daughter is ready for school.
  • 11:15AM. Get her on the bus.
  • 11:30AM. Make lunch for my son and myself.
  • 12:00PM. Back to work for 1 hour.
  • 1:00PM. Play with my son, run the dishes and maybe a load of laundry.
  • 2:00PM. Back to work for 1 hour.
  • 3:00PM. Get our daughter off the bus. Set the kids up with a snack. Our son might take a nap now.
  • 3:30PM. Work 1 more hour.
  • 4:30PM. Think about starting dinner. I want it to be ready around 5:45 when my husband gets home.

That’s 7 hours of work if I am able to work for the full timeslots. Many times I’m not.😂 But if I did, that’s 35 hours for the week! That’s basically full time! I would work the balance of anything that needed completing over the weekend. Yes, I do work weekends. I tell my clients that I don’t so there are no expectations of availability, but it’s my business to work when it works best for me.

Now that I’m pregnant

Now that I’m pregnant, I basically lose the first two hours of work. And at the beginning when my morning sickness lasted ALL DAY LONG, I lost some of the middle hours too! Thankfully my clients were understanding and have stuck by me and we’re past that. Now I’m working about 20-25 hours per week.

What I love most is the flexibility. If our schedule changes, I just rearrange my day. Sometimes I work for an hour or two at night. Since our kids are home with me, it’s not a clear-cut 8-hour day like you would have in an office. But I think it’s better because I can mold it around mine and my family’s needs.

If you have any questions about becoming a virtual assistant, you should check out my virtual assistant website, Your Virtual Associate. I talk more about freelancing and working at home. I even have an application to become a virtual assistant on my team! I would love to hear from you!

Please remember to join my email list! ❤

Morning Routines

Are morning routines a thing? I mean, sure they are! But I need help! LOL

My daughter just started preschool yesterday. We’re on day two and I’m going crazy! I spent an hour and a half trying to get her up, dressed, and off to school! An hour and a half!! That’s an hour and a half out of my work time!

What is wrong with me?? Is it normal to be sooooo completely frustrated by this? My guess is that it is normal, but I would love to hear how you all cope.

Damn that Daniel Tiger!

We stopped watching him on TV because I didn’t like they way he is taught to cope with things (stomp 3 times, to make yourself feel better) it would be fine if she felt better after 3 stomps, but I don’t see it!

So she found DT on her tablet and has been watching things about potty training which she recently did, and now about her off to school and bedtime routines. I thought, she’s singing along, maybe it’s ok now. But all morning long it’s the song about getting ready for school. And she HAS to do it in order. This frustrates the crap out of me!

What Not to do

On the less than 5 minute ride to school, while I looked at my watch and thought about what time I started trying to wake her, that’s when it really hit me about how much time I just spent trying to get her ready to go to school, where she’ll be for only 2 hours! Ahhhh!!

So what did I do? I spoke sternly to her. I’m so ashamed. I didn’t yell, thankful for that. But I told her, “when I say it’s time to get up, you get up. When I say get dressed, get dressed. When I say brush your teeth, brush your teeth. When I say eat breakfast, eat breakfast. And when I say put your shoes on, you put your shoes on!” Does that kind of talking to a 4-year-old do anything? Most likely not. Except it probably further instills how much more she likes daddy.

Uggggg, Lord, please help me speak to my daughter in a way that will be receptive and understood and make her feel loved!  

So when we got to school, I stopped her just outside. I squatted to her level and told her that even though it took her so long to get ready, I still love her more than anything. She lowered her head and said, “ok mommy”, but it sounded as though she had been rejected. This just breaks my heart. I gave her a big hug, and that was it, she was excited to go inside.

What Not to Say

I read so many different things about what to say and what not to say to gain trust and make well-adjusted little people. It’s so hard! Here’s what really sticks in my head:

  • Don’t follow up a compliment with a ‘but’. Just let it stand on its own. If you want to suggest something different for next time, do it later. Let the compliment stand on its own.
  • Don’t apologize with a qualifier. This is an off-shoot of the point above. It comes to mind when I think of what I said outside her school this morning. I didn’t get this one right. I shouldn’t have said ‘even though’. I’m working on this one!
  • Don’t say ‘don’t cry’. Instead, say something like, I know that hurts, or I understand you’re upset. Give them time to get their feelings out. Saying ‘I understand you’re upset’ helps them to feel heard. (God knows we all just want to be heard!)
  • Don’t whine. Ohhh I say this one a lot! When I’m cool and collected, I replace that with, “is there another way you can say that?” And I definitely respond quickly when she re-poses her question without the whiny voice! I need to acknowledge her efforts!

Perspective!

She’s at the age where everything is a battle of wills! Everything is a big deal. Lots of whining, and lots of crying. It’s really been a huge test for me. I think the biggest thing I need to work on is being more flexible.

I have to remember that I’m working from home so that I can be the one here while she gets ready in the morning, and I’m the one taking her to school and after school activities.

And see, just saying that brings things back into perspective. I guess I need to get up an hour earlier to get more work in before she needs to get up. We can do this!

What do you do?

I would love to hear what you’ve implemented to make your morning routine run smoothly! How do you keep yourself in check when your kiddos test your patience? Comment after the post or send me an email!

♥ Carrie